Audition

The boy dabbed his dark pants with a paper towel and checked the bathroom wall mirror twice to make sure the stain was gone. Whatever he spilled on his pants wasn’t going to hinder his moment this afternoon. He was willing to work hard to book this event. Bravery and experience was all it really took. All the movies, TV shows, commercials, songs, and books had taught him that. His experienced, special agent had taught him that as well. This agent had also given him a heads-up that morning of where he needed to be, and he had rushed downtown ready to give the lines.

He had memorized all the lines that night before. Saying them into his own bathroom mirror, he had judged his facial ticks and mannerisms. He needed to give off a true vibe, one of a true natural human being. He had obsessively thought about finding the best way to give them. He had talked with his roommate the night before. The roommate had his own advice for owning the room, but the boy knew it was up to him and his personality at the end of the day. He obsessed about them too much, he knew, but then again, didn’t everyone like him do the same?

He walked out of the bathroom with only two mild wet spots. He tried not to think about it. He exited into the lobby of the busy fast food place he shouldn’t have eaten at beforehand and headed to the door. The place he was heading was next door, a very unlikely place to have such a confrontation. He had heard stories how the most famous people had met the people who changed their lives in these most crummiest and unlikely of places.

Not that the place was crummy, in fact, it was bustling. People his age going in and out. Are these people trying to impress similiar people? No, he figured that's just the judgement and extra gunk that has to be pushed out of the head in these situations.

He walked in the room and asked the nearest person where he was heading. The lady nodded and directed him into another room. The boy made his down the hall and at that point, he realized he should have snatched an extra towel to dab his face and forehead. This was his face time. This was his time to shine and spill his guts. Releasing everything he memorized and thought about the night before.

He entered the room and found it was perfect timing. It was his turn. He walked up to the table. Three sets of eyes stared at him up and down, taking him in, seeing if he fit the part. He knew it was time to slate. He focused his energy to the person in the middle of the table.

“Hi. Remember me from class? I was wondering if you wanna meet up later tonight to go to a movie?” he thought he remembered asking.

The girl started to smile to herself then quickly pursed her lips as if trying to express a blank reaction. Her head sank down, but her solemn blue eyes looked up at him already holding the answer.

“No hun. I’m busy tonight.”

“Okay. That’s cool. I just remembered I forgot something in my car.”

The boy nodded and smiled blankly then exited back through the sports bar as quickly as seemed natural. He was not crushed by her response, but he was already texting for advice on his next audition.

Laurie

I used the off ramp
When your picture came up,
Losing track of the way
To San Clemente.

Watching headlights retreat,
My mind was made up.
Stubbornness. You made me forget
I dreamed of a thousand flashing bulbs.

One look, and I'm ready to reverse
All those orange miles.
You make this too easy.
Do you realize your pose makes decisions for men?

Any Second Could Be the Second

I'm living in a place where something either wonderful or dreadful can happen in a second. That's pretty much the vibe I get after living in Hollywood for a little over a month.

I've always felt March-April was the least exciting time of the year, but boy, is that not case this year. Thanks to family and a small number of contacts, the transition from a small, hometown community to a multicultural, entertainment mecca with a population of nearly 4 million was swift and not nearly as stressful as it could have been.

This was mainly due to a long, and I mean, long waiting game. Now I am among the people who look, speak, and breathe the entertainment industry.

Oh, this place is hectic. Everyone has an agenda, and listening to everyone's word of advice would turn one into Sybil. Standing in line at casting calls or big events or passing the time as an extra on a TV set is the only real time I've had to talk to fellow actors and Californians about anything meaningful. Everyone is so detached.

The trick is showing someone you can make them money. One of my roommates told me only 3% of the 97% of people in entertainment are actually in the door with the big-time producers and directors. This seems logical. Everyone has described a different way of breaking into the business (from an actor's perspective) that I have quickly learned I have to find my own way to get in that 3%.

My "own way", i.e. a job, so far has consisted of mainly extra work in TV shows and audience filler work. This has actually supported me so far, but it can't last forever. I've done audience work for "Let's Make a Deal" and "The Wanda Sykes Show" and extra work for NBC's "The Cape", "Flashforward", TBS's "In Security", "CSI: Miami", and my personal favorite, "How I Met Your Mother".

I've audited three film acting classes and have an idea what I need to work on and who I need to work with. And I'm working on a student film with one to follow, mainly to get film footage for a new reel. (BTW, I'm pretty psyched about it. It involves my first car chase.)

All this to say I have a really long way to go. The trick seems to be to nail down a steady job, even if it's part-time, so I can feel free to throw money towards developing as an actor and business man. You see, I have to get in my head this acting thing is a business, and I don't think I'll really know how to market myself until I get an agent. That will come.

Right now, I'm waiting to hear back from the 50+ jobs I've applied for. Today, I went to round one of a casting call for studio guides at Universal Studios. There were no less than 500 people there. After two hours of waiting, I got to the VIP room and had 30 seconds to make an impression with one of the casting directors. He marked my resume with a "5" and said "wow" when he looked at my headshot. He smiled, shook my hand, and I left feeling good about the whole conversation. I'm going to a film audition tomorrow and waiting for that possible phone call for round two.

What does this mean? Nothing, until something happens.

But I am here and where I need to be to do this. When I stood next to Chris Kattan and Malin Akerman being led by the director and co-creator of "How I Met Your Mother" a few weeks ago, I felt on the right track. I felt the same excitement I felt before taking stage in a show at UNA. I felt any second could be the second.

*Title taken from this ad: www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xAJmdhQzJ4

First Week Observances

The carpool lane is my friend. Rancho Cucumonga is a copycat version of Madison's Bridge Street. A high school and college resume doesn't mean a damn. One man shows out here last hours. Worst drivers ever. The road through Hollywood Hills is a roller coaster ride. DVDs are still the same price. Gas is not. Zero humidity. Expensive. You see the limos, not the stars. Snipers on the roof during big celebrity events. Applying for 10+ part-time jobs doesn't mean anything. It's about how you look and who you know. Universal Citywalk is fun to walk around. I have a great roommate. The performers downtown are dirty and gross. People will walk over you and have no humor. Fast-paced, even for me.

It's coming all at once, much like these thoughts.

I Who Waiteth (A Thank-You and Hindsight Note)

"Everything cometh to him who waiteth, so long as he who waiteth worketh like hell while he waiteth." - A friend who heard it from his aunt who may have gotten that from someone else.


I'd say it's been long enough. I've packed up essentials and will drive across the country to attempt an acting career in California in a few hours. This is not a blog that explains the plan but to reflect on how the plan has gone up until this point. And to say thank you.

I've been waiting for this for a long time.

When did this start? The beginning was high school. I found a way to attract positive attention sophomore year in high school in Mr. Bryan's first period drama class. I remember that class and the people fondly. I was an extra in "Welcome to Carnie" and the prince in "Cinderella". Easy as pie. But it was enough experience to arouse curiosity and to crave more. I went to the theatre competition down at Troy University that fall of 2002 and was mesmerized by this whole world of theater, specifically people getting in front of people and performing something. I remember looking up to the senior class and wanting to fill their shoes. I couldn't imagine having so many lines and having so much of the show depend on you. I was content to stand rigid in the background.

It would take a while to get ready. I performed in many more high school shows, and I remember the moment when I gave up keeping up a guarded persona. I surrendered my modesty and just went for it. I found the most extreme or interesting way to play someone and went for it. I remember playing Preacher Haggler in "Dark of the Moon" in the fall of 2004. I established a voice, mannerism, and character, that I knew were ridiculous. But I just wanted to plunge in and be someone else -- personal maintenance being a non-issue. Preacher Haggler was the moment I knew I had found the ability to push a button and to become someone else at any point. I would never be normal again, if I ever was.

I graduated high school in 2005 but wasn't mature enough to do anything with my interest. I decided the primary goal was moving to LA. I wanted to do movies and TV, though theatre would always be there. I figured I could go to college there after taking a few classes at UNA. No big deal. Work a little in Florence. Take the basic subjects. Transfer colleges. Use college as a way to acclimate oneself into the area. I targeted UCLA, primarily because of its renown film/tv/theatre department and location.

But, nope.

Despite two big attempts, UCLA wouldn't accept me and I had to stay and finish school in Florence. I conceded my life would continue for a little while longer in Florence, something that became increasingly frustrating.

UNA was a great small-town school. The three theatre teachers I had were excellent, and I was thankful for the productions I got to be involved in. And I picked up book knowledge, of course. I also learned to ignore pretense and be yourself. I can't tell you how many times in college I lacked words for peers, and there was a disconnect. Much like how the world operates.

Was college that bad? Yes and no. The problem is that north Alabama moved at a different pace and thought differently. There was not an atmosphere condusive to me. Sure, there were artsy people, well-crafted play producations, a well-organzied film festival, etc. But I wanted more and a bigger scene. I wanted a population of people who pursued, breathed, and knew arts and entertainment. A culture to grow into. To get noticed to a degree. I wanted to be surrounded by people who weep during the movie, jot down ideas for a TV sitcom at coffeehouses, and head home arguing points after a play.

And disliking college was not disliking UNA. I would have grown tired of any college in the US. It wasn't UNA, though like any college, it had its problems. It was the going to school ten blocks away from where I were born and raised that begged the question if I was getting anywhere. It became increasingly deadening and turned me selfish. The last two years were about me and what I had to do to get out. Tunnel vision, so to speak.

Why did I need to finish? No better reason just to have that piece of paper to show I had some level of committment. No other reason. I never planned on college itself landing me a job.

I couldn't have survived UNA without family and friendship. I mean survival in the sense of getting a degree. Had it not been for Dad, Grandmother, Samuel and an arsensal of friends that seemed to be in rotation, I would have gave up college and already been out there. Without experience and knowledge.

There are specific people I wanna give a shout-out that accompanied me and inadvertently gave me more drive the past 4 years:

Thanks WENDYS HATER & YEATA HANA for your friendship and hard-edge honesty. You always find the excitement and drama in an otherwise dull environment. You are the people that spice up life and make it all the more easier to bear in difficult times. We aren't the same, but I love your company. You're the closest family members.

Thanks JEANIE WEANIE and RON/CON for your friendship and always being available to talk. Even though you guys cannot get out often, you are some of the wisest members of the family. Thanks for not being mad over the long periods I didn't drop in and holding it against me.

Thanks MARINE GIRL for your friendship and no-nonsense nature. Thank you for maintaining a sharp, sensible honesty and support. You're the coolest thing in the desert right now, and I'd like to meet your new family soon.

Thanks PHYIR for your friendship and accompaning me through my first job. It was possible to find ways to ignore and not confront co-workers through it all but you hung with me. We were goofy, and the goofiest moment caught up with me and was my ticket out. I never thought you'd marry first.

Thanks RELIENT KAYE for your friendship and teaching me I'm not the ladies man. I didn't know how to treat a woman until I met you. You are a beautiful person and though we have not had a conversation in a while, I can tell you're on your way to an ideal future. Doing what you wanted served you well.

Thanks SIMPLE THINGS for your friendship. I was happy to know such a bright personality. You have figured out the best of what life has to offer quickly and more mature a person than I was at that age. I love you for it; girls should take notes. You are a genuine, small-town personality, and you are well on your way to a honeymoon.

Thanks PRINCESS VITOR for your friendship. Even though I don't see you a lot anymore, you have the knack for just picking up where we left off. The long nights we spent at that damn theater were more fun than anything I did socially on a college campus.

Thanks AUTOMATIC FOR THE PEOPLE for your friendship and the ability to conversate about anything, anytime, anywhere in the country. Our ages are different, but our interests are the same. I'll be your wingman and hang out anytime. I consider you my godfather.

Thanks POP CULTURE for your friendship. My longest-running friendship. The arts have kept us together, and I'm gonna miss your noggin when it comes to crucial movie/tv/music references at a moment's notice. I appreciate you pulling for me. I'm pulling for good health and a happily ever after for you.

Thanks WORDSMITH for your friendship and extreme kindness. Not many people would keep careful correspondance with someone from far away, but you did and identified my passion immediately. Everyone that knows you is a better person because of it.

Thanks SUPREME CHANCELLOR BOSS EDITOR for your friendship. You are the most mature, driven person I know. I've always been infatuated with you. I apologize that we can't get along anymore but that doesn't mean I don't love you. We are too opinionated, driven, and stubborn for our own good. And we're going to be successful.

Thanks FITZTONGUE for your friendship and always being willing to kill some time playing games. And to just sit around and talk about lots of really cool stuff, no worries. It keeps us healthy and our minds sharp. California better have people like you or I'm coming right back.

Thanks MISS PETTIGREW for your friendship and giving me the time of day as I make my exit. You have become the go-to friend very quickly. Your personality is addicting. I'm at complete ease with you. Your intelligence is evolving and your demeanor is mesmerizing. You deserve a lot of respect after dealing with me.

Thanks SAMUEL for looking up to me, though if you knew the half of it, you may not. You have excellent common sense and intelligence. Toughen up and you'll do great. I'll always be here for you. I love you.

Thanks GRANDMOTHER for being my mother and raising me those years. I can't begin to repay or thank you but I'll keep working to impress you more. If I sat on my butt and did nothing, you'd still give me everything. We throw around the word "nice" but you are the nicest woman I've known. Would I have even made it through high scool without you? I love you.

Thanks DAD. Your mellowness and laid-back nature doesn't mean you're disinterested. You gave me the foundation early and have left all the decisions up to me. We look, think, and act differently, but you are the model of a man. I love you.

On to the next act...

Pro-living

Tomorrow I am driving up to an area around Davenport, Iowa, which is about three hours west of Chicago to meet my biological family. I have a mother, a brother, and a sister.

I'm excited, but only as excited as I would be to meet a fellow castmate in a play production. Think about it. Castmates have usually never met before but know they would be working together at some point. Castmates come together for a limited time to achieve something special. Castmates must quickly befriend one another and look for a connection in order for the process to go smoothly. And so on. You get the metaphor.

The point is I don't necessarily expect to get along perfect with a group of people I've never met in only a few days' time. It's like that with any group of people. The difference is adoptive children and biological parents, like castmates, strive to achieve a fleeting connection before life moves on.

I haven't thought about my true roots as much as I have the past year because I knew the University of North Alabama college monster would be off my back. And I would be free to do what I wanted to do. Not just staying up late, moving to LA, watching infinite TV, and playing Halo.

I am in the right family, and for a while, Florence was the ideal place. I'm in a family that allows free-thinking and decision-making. I'm in a family that can be as interested in a subject as you are or can lay off when the mood's not right. I'm in a family that puts God first and values practicality over wishful thinking. I'm in a family that sees the dignity in sewing clothes, working on cars, and cooking meals, rather than traveling the country adding up their fly miles and being louder than the others at cocktail parties.

I never figured there was something more to my life here, never wondering what would have been. And that proves the triumph of the Salter family and my ability to accept what is given to you. Not to say we get along perfectly...we think differently and have had our share of dysfunctionalism. But the thought has never crossed my mind to be disappointed. As dull as Florence, Alabama has become the past several years, I have never had the wish that I grew up somewhere else, much less with a different family.

Who am I to question why? I can venture a guess and say my adoptive family were supposed to have their wishes granted, and a mother was supposed to be saved the horrifying ordeal of choosing abortion. I can't say; I don't know the other side of the story yet. I just know it's worked out because destiny, or God's will, wouldn't have it any other way.

I would like a connection and a few questions answered before I come home. But if nothing happens, there could be no way I would be disappointed. The events of the past 20-something years are enough proof the redemptive choice of adoption was the right call. Everybody's happy and everybody's alive.

A List of Things That Are Boring

The Indianapolis Colts
Matthew Mcconaughey movies
Elementary School
High School
Probably Graduate School
Guys talking about working out
The fetch quests in Zelda games after the first time
Avatar's storyline
That show that comes on before Big Bang Theory with Jenna Elfman
Text messages that say "what are you doing?"
The first person at the party
"We are brave your highness" line in Phantom Menace